Ten Commandments, Revised

I. Thou shalt not place thy god above anybody else's god.

II. Thou shalt not put Judeo-Christian idols in public places.

III. Thou shalt not practice hate speech.

IV. Remember Gay-Lesbian Awareness Day, and keep it holy.

V. Honor all mothers and their reproductive rights of choice.

VI. Thou shalt not own firearms or any weapons of defense.

VII. Thou may freely have adulterous affairs; everybody does.

VIII. Thou shalt not rob the state of its proper taxations.

IX. Thou shalt not give false testimony to the IRS.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's right to free health care, welfare, food stamps, or any other entitlements of they neighbor.