Gifts you're glad you didn't get

Todd Rhoades over at Monday Morning Insight made my mouth fall open at some things under the tree this past Christmas morning. Can you believe this stuff? Imagine getting it for Christmas. No wonder some people think Christians are nuts.

The IWJO (I Watch Joel Osteen) Lapel Pin
Again, this is for real… "Show your support for Pastor Joel and spread the message of his ministry by wearing this beautiful pin. As non-believers ask their co-workers, friends and neighbors about the I W J O logo, it will give them the opportunity to learn about and receive Christ as their Savior through Pastor Joel’s Ministry at Lakewood Church. Price: $4.95 + shipping/handling. (Car decals are also available.) You can order here.

Jonah and the Great Fish w/removable plush Jonah
Little ones will giggle with delight at the unexpected sight of this great big wonderful plush fish. And when they pull Jonah out of the fish’s belly no worse for wear, the most wonderful of Old Testament stories will come to life. This fish’s mouth opens up wide for access to a 15” deep belly pocket that holds not only Jonah himself but other favorite toys. Press the embroidered heart on the fish’s flipper to hear a child’s voice recite the words of Jonah 1:17. Made from the softest imaginable polyester with equally soft lining, and wonderfully huggable. Available here.

"Jesus Hates it When You Smoke" Ashtray
Jesus, the Prince of Peace gazes balefully upwards at your approaching cigarette… How does that make you feel? ‘JESUS HATES IT WHEN YOU SMOKE’ reads the print inside this provocative, righteous ashtray. Sticker on bottom reads: "use of this product may be hazardous to your health and/or eternal soul". They’re a steal at just $12.00, available here.

"Follow the Son" John 8:12 Sandals-Men’s
Fashionable footwear with EVA sole, plush utrasuede straps, and insole with die cut outsole that leaves behind "FOLLOW JESUS" in the sand or on the pool deck. When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life." (John 8:12) These puppies are available in either tan OR black; and in cases of 12 pairs at a time. Available here.