Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The pulpit committee and the Bible scholar

The pulpit committee sat with august formality on the front rows of the sanctuary. 

The chairman of the pulpit committee asked the young pastoral candidate, "Son, do you know the Bible?"

"Yes, sir," the young man said as he sat up straight,"I really know the Bible."

"What part of the Bible do you know best?"

"Well," he said, " I know the New Testament the best."

The chairman nodded, "Why don't you just tell us something you know from the Bible. For instance, why don't you just tell us the story of the Prodigal Son."

"All right," said the young man as he took a short but deep breath.

"There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus who went down to Jericho by night, and he fell upon stony ground, and the thorns choked him half to death. The next morning, Solomon and his wife, Gomorrah, came by and carried him down to the ark for Moses to take care of him. 

"But as he was going through the eastern gate into the ark, he caught his hair in a limb, and he hung there for forty days and forty nights. And after he hungered, and the ravens came and fed him. The next day, the three wise men came and carried him down to the boat dock, and he caught a ship to Nineveh

"When he got there, he found Deliliah sitting on a wall, and he said, 'Chunk her down, boys.' 

"They said, 'How many times shall we chunk her down? Til seven times seven?'

"And he said, 'Nay, but until seventy times seven.' 

"So they chunked her down 490 times. She burst asunder in their midst, and they picked up twelve baskets of the fragments. And in the resurrection, whose wife will she be?"

The chairman sat there a minute with an intense look on his face. Then he said, "Fellows, I think we ought to call him. He's young, but he really knows his Bible."